Natural Birth
The title of this post might spike your blood pressure seeing as though there seems to be a huge debate going on among Christians in particular about this topic. I’ve had friends on both ends of the spectrum – 100% home birthing women and others who have signed up for that epidural as soon as they checked into the hospital. It is not my intention to proclaim an opinion here but I am concerned about this issue mainly because it reveals idols in our hearts. I want my little girls to think humbly and biblically about this issue when they grow old enough to bear children of their own. A thoughtful friend took me out for lunch for my (belated) birthday yesterday and we chatted for at least an hour about this very issue. It was edifying conversation being able to talk about both ends of the spectrum – she having never been pregnant or birthed before, me having experienced 4 pregnancies and 4 very different birth stories. When I came home, I found this article in my inbox sent to me by my thoughtful husband. It encapsulated nearly the exact thoughts I had just expressed with my friend. This article is written by mature, godly women and seems to be the most balanced one out there. May we be women of grace, not pride. Women of gratitude for the One who grants life and writes all our stories…
(in case you don’t want to link over to the article, you can also find it below)
Natural and Cursed
I may perchance be going out on a limb here . . . so let me state at the outset that I’m not trying to poke anyone in the eye! I haven’t even made it through all the comments on Mom’s recent childbirth posts, so this isn’t directed at anyone in particular. (Not because I don’t want to read the comments, but because I’m with my husband in England at the moment, and our internet opportunities are a bit patchy!)
Anyway, those qualifications having been made, I just wanted to point something out that I think Christian mothers need to keep in mind when they’re in the middle of “birthing option” discussions: You’re Christians. And that means submitting to the Bible as the true and inspired Word of God. It means actually listening and paying attention to what the Bible says, and then . . . believing it. When you hear claims being made regarding childbirth, your first question should be, “How does that line up with Scripture?” Because, as it turns out, the Bible does have some things to say on the subject – and shockingly, they aren’t really the same things you may be hearing from your facebook buddies.
Which things do I have in mind? There are a number of things – but the most fundamental one is this. As a Christian, you should remember that childbirth has been cursed. “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children.” After Adam sinned, God cursed the ground, and gave Adam weeds to fight . . . and he made childbirth painful and dangerous for Eve. Death entered the world. When you hear women telling you that “childbirth is a completely natural process” you need to remember to think about that statement like the Christian that you are. Yes, it’s a natural process – but it’s not the same natural process that it was before sin entered the world. Now it’s broken. Now there are complications. Weeds have arrived on the scene. This means that in childbirth there is pain, there is danger, there is something to overcome. (Childbirth is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.) I hear women all the time talking as if this wasn’t a fundamental truth. I can understand non-Christians not getting this – after all, they have no framework that explains sin and death. But it always shocks me to hear Christian women say it. So let’s analyze this statement from a few different angles:
“There’s nothing to be all wound up about – childbirth is a completely natural process.”
1. From a theological perspective: It’s wrong. The Bible says something different. It’s a completely natural process that got cursed by God because of human sin.
2. From a common sense perspective: In what universe does natural mean safe? Sickness is a completely natural process too. Death is a natural process. “Natural” certainly doesn’t mean risk free.
3. From a historical perspective: Anyone who talks this way is showing a shockingly provincial understanding of life and the world. Do you know how many women have died in childbirth through the ages? For 99% of human history, women went into childbirth the way a man went into battle – not knowing if either she or the baby would come out alive. Have you ever read Anne Bradstreet’s poem Before the Birth of One of her Children? It makes me cry every time. She was writing her goodbye to her husband in case she died in labor. Has that ever even crossed your mind to do before one of your babies? No? Is your biggest worry whether you’ll get the crib painted in time? Whether you’ll get the cozy experience you wanted? Then thank God for letting you live in the 21st century – and don’t forget where you’re standing in the story. You’re standing in the place in history where women have the luxury of acting like little brats about what kind of “experience” they want. (Hopefully that’s not you – but you can’t deny that it certainly happens! Think of the celebrities having babies and tummy tucks at the same time so they can come out with their perfectly flat stomach. Women who are “too posh to push.” Women freaking out that they didn’t get their epidural in time. Other women freaking out that they had to get taken to the hospital when they wanted a home birth.) You’re not on your knees every night, begging God to let you live long enough to be a mother to this baby . . . but it might be a good thing to be on your knees thanking God for that fact.
Think of all the facebook discussions you’ve seen on this subject. Think of all the complaining about “uncomfortable monitors” and “this wasn’t my birth plan” and “sterile, medical atmosphere” and “I didn’t want a c-section.” And then imagine trying to explain those women to Anne Bradstreet. Do you think she might have been willing to deal with a c-section if it meant she was going to live? Do you think she’d have been willing to put up with a hospital room and a monitor if it meant seeing her husband again? Do you think she might have been willing to make do without an epidural?
Moral of the story: You live in an amazingly blessed moment in history. We live with the fruit of insane medical advances. We’re at a point where people can actually forget how “natural childbirth” went for most of history and actually start to think that it’s an innately safe process. You’ve got all kinds of options regarding childbirth. Thank God. But never forget that those choices are privileges and blessings, not rights. Hold them loosely. And, at the end of the day, thank God that your biggest problem is that you might have to have c-sections from now on . . . and not that your husband was left a widower, with a newborn baby and four other kids.
Love this post! Love the article you referenced. Totally agree. I love my kids so much, but mostly I just don’t want the topic to be an issue either way with me and with my friendships. I love when people are different and are free to make different choices!
Yes, agreed! Great to hear from you Julie. hung out with Sarah Bailey today and we were talking about how great you are 🙂
as paul says in titus “avoid foolish controversies…” as Christians, we must choose our causes very carefully lest we unnecessarily offend turn people away from us. the idea of freedom and grace for those who do life differently can apply to so many areas of life:)
Thanks friend. You would probably also agree that we must bring the Gospel to bear on topics such as these….with grace being defined as loving our fellow brothers/sisters enough to expose the sin and walk in love and humility together.
Since you decided to stir the pot on something I am passionate about, I will throw my two cents in.
First, I agree with you that birthing is painful (even if I don’t know this personally). Lots of things are painful or difficult or challenging, but still worth it. I don’t think it should be an argument to sway a Christian away from natural childbirth. God may have cursed childbirth, but he still made it. He cursed the ground, but we still farm. We don’t say, “Well, no point in trying, might as well move food production into a lab.” You bothered to plant bulbs, and I know you grow herbs. Why? God cursed that ground, right? Why do your friends try to farm that cursed ground of theirs? Why do you work out and eat healthy? Isn’t your body headed to death?
In fact, I do think Christians have the prerogative to say, “Hey, what are the options, and which one is the best for bodies?” — It’s similar to that video that you posted of John Piper talking about our bodies. Along that same line, we can observe and wonder in what ways birth is most comfortable. We should be the ones looking because we have the utmost respect for bodies.
Second, while being grateful for advancements in medicine, we don’t have to bow to it. This is actually quite similar to what we talked about (twice) on Wednesday — alternative diets for cancer and alternate home remedies for headaches, colds, etc. Medicine gives us a lot, and I am grateful for it; it gives me my nurse-check, and it has literally saved me from a very miserable Crohn’s life (and perhaps even from already dying). But it isn’t the end all, be all; and I think that’s what the natural childbirth movement points to. There are many births that cannot be done safely at home and many that must end in C-section (which is still birthing, and no less diminishes being a woman!). No one is going to say to the author, “Let’s go back to times when doctors were not very trained in birthing, and when many midwives didn’t know much either. I hate that lives can be saved by c-section!” Of course we are grateful for medical interventions, but the author seems to miss some terrible stats we have in the US. We should be concerned that America has terrible maternal and fetal outcomes among industrialized countries (I don’t remember the exact stats, but we are ranked somewhere in the 20s or 30s — don’t quote me on this, but I think we do spend the most per birth, though). We should recognize that, for low risk births, fewer interventions is usually safer — this is why other industrialized countries have better outcomes than we do; they use fewer interventions, more home birthing and more midwives. Not only that, they have better follow-up support systems, aiding in help for mom at home and quicker diagnoses of postpartum depression.
Yes, there are extremes in natural childbirth, but extremes don’t stop us from believing what we do (it’s pretty extreme not to eat honey because it’s from a living being, but you still tend toward vegan, even if your body is cursed and headed to death; do you give up on your eating choices, because there are some people with similar views who are really extreme?!?! Or because you’re gonna die, so why bother?).
Birthing is something I am passionate about, and I see it as an area in which the US medical system is failing. As a nurse and as a woman and as a Christian, I think it’s important. We need to educate women on the issue; it frees them to make choices instead of assuming that physicians know all. It is something that needs to be considered thoughtfully. I try to be careful about not forcing it on people but talking about it kindly with people who are open to it; you probably understand this, with your views on eating and health. I in no way condemn women who make different choices or think they are less womanly. And I agree with Ellen that it shouldn’t become a divisive thing.
I’m pretty sure I just gave you at least 85 cents, not two. I’m not sure if I should say, “You’re welcome” or “Oops, I’m sorry!” Probably the latter. 🙂
Leah- this is why I love you because you didn’t just share 2 cents with me but 90cents! 🙂
Thank you so much for your thoughts on this…would love to chat more over coffee 🙂 and I appreciate and value your experience in the medical world. You see many of the harsh, sad realities and I’m know with your Crohns that you’ve also seen some of the beauty in the ashes, too – the men and women who seek to honor The Lord in their practice of medicine and care for the fragile human body – and just how beautiful that can be.
Since its my desire to “avoid foolish controversy” as Ellen said, I think it comes down to making sure that our hearts are in check. But we can talk of avoiding foolish controversy while inwardly feeding on our idols of either people pleasing and avoiding these issues all together when there is sin that needs to be addressed OR by waving the high and lofty flags of our opinions and preferences for all to see – failing to realize we are hurting people in the process. “Our hearts are idol factories.” (John Calvin) And as the article concludes, “You’ve got all kinds of options regarding childbirth. Thank God. But never forget that those choices are privileges and blessings, not rights. Hold them loosely.”
This is where I pray we can all rest…in the freedom of the different child-birthing experiences that all of us women have and will have.
And most importantly…..I can’t wait to see what God has planned for you and Joe and BABIES! However God brings them into this world, we will be your biggest fans. Love you! 🙂
PS: I am automatically high-risk because I have Crohn’s, and I am automatically disqualified from midwife-homebirth (I think — which is okay since I have mixed feelings about home birth anyway). I have the potential for big complications during pregnancy and after. I already am aware that I may need more interventions than I may otherwise want, and I am very thankful that I am five minutes away from a hospital that specializes in high-risk and has a level-1 NICU. So my post should be read in light of this fact!
wow…. this post has sparked quite the interest, indeed! 🙂
i certainly have no set opinion on this issue… seeing how I have had 7 births…
including 2 natural births, 4 births with epidurals, and 1 c-section. 🙂
i feel like i’ve done it all… though, i’m sure if the Lord gives us more, next time could be a completely
different experience.
i do pray that we all give each other grace in this area.
my concern with the article was not so much WHAT was being said – I agree with the author of the article in regards to much of what she said. my concern with the article was that the tone of it seemed to oooooooze with pride. And Tara, I believe THAT is the very thing you are saying we should distance ourselves from – coming across “high and mighty” about a particular topic that is not a matter of obedience to the Lord Jesus.
Reading that article was eye-opening in that I hope we will speak with Love… the love of Christ… to one another, even while sharing our varying opinions… and not come across with pride and arrogance.
Love you, friend. Thankful for the precious children the Lord has blessed us all with!!
What an inheritance they are… each and every one of them! 🙂
Allyson- You are a beautiful example of the fact that The Lord has different plans for the children he blesses us with and how he will bring them into the world. Thanks for your perspective and thoughts. Thankful for your friendship!
Thank you to everyone who put thought into this. In conclusion, I greatly appreciated the way the article brought to light how birthing options have changed over time allowing for the gift of options. I believe their point in the article dealing with the whole natural vs. non-natural birth opinions flying around the culture right now – is that we need to stay true to Gods Word and put on love and humility not exalting one over the other and practicing genuine, Christian love towards all women, even if they do things differently but letting ourselves be free from one particular method deemed “right.” Thanks for all of your thoughts! Let us go forth in peace… :). Love, Tara