On Being a Ministry Wife

My husband and are nearing 10 years of marriage, and every single one of those years has been spent preparing for and living out full-time ministry. We’ve known our entire marriage, that this was our calling, together. Believing and embracing it, has been another journey for me personally. Pastor’s wife? All of the stereo-types that came along with that, flew threw my mind. Oh no, I can’t be a pastor’s wife, will that mean I have to wear khaki’s and penny loafers? I’m no kind of an example for anyone to look up to. The thoughts went on and on….over the years, and some of those years so very precious when we dwelled in a seminary-community of like-minded people, God began to fashion and shape my heart. Sometimes those lies still race through my mind. But it’s not about me and what I have to offer. It’s about God using me, a messy sinner like everyone else, as a channel in which to display His grace to others. Humbling.

Being married to a pastor has been magnificently hard and beautiful all at the same time. There is no legacy of pastor’s/pastor’s wives in our extended family, so we are treading an unknown path (though we are thankful for some of our family who have faithfully served and loved the Lord). We have stumbled and tripped and we have seen the Lord in many marvelous ways, pour out His abundant mercy and provision throughout our years in ministry. One thing that has been particularly hard, is friendships amidst being a ministry wife. It’s hard to know who you can confide in and connect with especially when there isn’t a lot of extra time to invest beyond my husband and children. Many people pull for your time and attention and it can cause one to feel jumbled, un-focused and lonely. But God has faithfully met me time and time again, and I trust that He will remain the same for our future in ministry. If you, yourself, are a ministry wife or if you are friends with one, or perhaps you want to know how to understand and love your own pastor’s wife better, I encourage you to read this article to find some encouragement to fly to Jesus. He alone provides all that we stand in need of.

*Disclaimer: I have never read the above book that is pictured and therefore do not necessarily condone it (just loved the title!)

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