The True Essence of Shepherding Our Children
“Our Children don’t need a drill sergeant, they need a shepherd.”
Often times, the issue of child-training, is mistaken for something that is harsh and controlling. Like anything, something that is meant for good can become bad very quickly – thanks to our sinful nature. Balance is something that needs to be diligently sought after in the Christian life. All of us tend towards extremes in any and every area of our lives. Extremes seem to rear their ugly heads especially in the area of Christian parenting. With all of the hype of “grace” today in the parenting realm, we musn’t forget that grace and law go together. And they go beautifully together. Though I am one that needs to be daily (almost hourly!) reminded to ere on the side of grace, law ( i.e. “rules”, guidelines and training etc.) still has an important role to play. Grace and Law are not anything new. They are timeless wonders that have always been set before us in God’s Word and are wholly applicable for us in parenting therefore making God’s Word the perfect “parenting book.” Just as grace points us to the fact that we need a Savior, so the Law helps to guide and shepherd us.
Matthew 9:36 reminds us of where we would be without a shepherd. “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” And what does a shepherd do but guide, tenderly care for and protect his sheep? This is a good way to look at training and grace. We train with grace, but if the shepherd sat idly by, his sheep would be at great risk for danger and even death. They are lost without their shepherd. Such a beautiful parallel pointing us to the true essence of parenting which is found only in the balance of grace and law.
I encourage you to listen to this short discussion on law and parenting with with Dr. Mike Emlet and Dr. Tim Lane from the CCEF ministry. Be encouraged, dear parent, as you model the beautiful balance of law and grace to your children. They will be blessed because of it.
Tara,
Preparing for my exciting year in 3rd grade (at our small Christian School), I recently read “When Children Love to Learn: A Practical Application of Charlotte Mason’s Philosophy for Today”. I was captivated by Ms. Mason’s ideas and took many notes while I was reading. Your blog has been an insightful follow up to that book. Your thought provoking posts have helped me to put things in perspective on numerous occasions. Thank you for what you do – please be encouraged to continue!
Thank you Kimberly for your sweet and gracious encouragement, it has been so refreshing to me. Would you kindly remind my forgetful mind of how we know one-another? 🙂
No worries – there are MANY faces and MORE names that I cannot place. We moved from Augusta and First Pres. a year and half ago. My husband subbed on the organ and was the choir conductor. I talked with your mom more often, especially when she was handling meals, and she always reminded me that she had a Tara (my youngest is named Tara)! Then you guys moved back to Augusta and I had a chance to interact with you briefly. We participated in preparing lunches for the clinic workers. You also monogrammed book bags for my kids one year. Our paths didn’t cross much, but I really enjoy your blog and imagine I would have enjoyed more interaction with you. Shame on me!
ahhh…yes, now I remember 🙂 Thank you Kimberly for extending such grace and encouragement. Hope you are well.
thank you so much for this follow-up post! i like it much better:) but then i can struggle to be miss mercy too much. i know we all as parents go through seasons where we feel like (or maybe feel convicted of is more accurate) we have been too harsh, demanded too much perfection, have recited rules over and over and have failed to give our children help to deal with their sin. our heavenly Father gives us “a way out” of our sin and i also must recognize my children’s limitations, let the law/rules do its job of utterly frustrating them and then remind them of who their Helper is…and remember that God’s love is not contingent on how well they follow the rules. His love is unfathomable and should result in worshipful obedience and kindness…not self-righteous legalism or outright rebellion. oh goodness, maybe i should just write an entire post on this myself. seriously, parenting is the hardest thing we have ever done and there is no perfect science to it either. praise God for His grace with our failures, but also for His living Spirit to help us and guide us as we move forward. all that to say, yes, you need both law and grace:)