Date Night Picnic on the River

“Many waters cannot quench love, Nor will rivers overflow it; If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, It would be utterly despised.” Song of Solomon 8:7 (the scripture inscribed on his wedding band)

 

His Help-Meet

 

I wonder how this scenario would make you feel. You have been busy all day homeschooling, getting some laundry done, had an hour of cleaning, made all the meals, and now dinner is over. Your husband heads for his easy chair in the living room and kicks back with the newspaper, while you head to the kitchen to clean up after dinner.

Years ago, if this would happen at our house, it could cause me to “stew” all evening! I wasn’t close to having a meek and quiet spirit. Through subsequent years, the Lord began to teach me valuable lessons about being a help meet to my husband. Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord God said, It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a help meet for him.”

As our family grew, I had come to see my husband as my help meet. I wanted him to help with dinner cleanup in the evenings. I thought he should watch over the children while he was home. If he gave the children their baths some nights, I felt that was only fair. Certainly, his help putting the children to bed seemed like a necessity to me.

The Lord had to bring me to Genesis 2:18, repeatedly, as He gently led me in learning my role as a wife. I was the help meet. Steve was not my help meet.

My husband often lightens my load during the evening hours. He loves to spend those hours with the children. Many years ago, he took over the weekly grocery shopping so I could have an hour at home to myself. However, his doing these tasks did not come because of my complaining to him or nagging him to do them. Rather, they were an extension of his love for me and a physical way of demonstrating it.

Viewing myself as a help meet was greatly beneficial to my meek and quiet spirit. I was able to serve joyfully, even if my husband wasn’t working beside me. I no longer entertained expectations of what he should be doing when he was home with the children and me. In addition, it allowed me to be grateful for everything he did that I considered helpful in my realm.

{ “Homeschooling With a Meek and Quiet Spirit” Teri Maxwell}

Dear reader, may you run far from yourself and seek to serve your husband, with grace, embracing your calling as a woman to be the helpmeet you were, in fact, created to be. When your days are long, our God is not so out of reach as you think He might be. He is able to strengthen and equip you with joy and endurance as you press deeper and longer into Him. Go on in courage today….

 

Which Rock Do You Stand Under?

Parenting consumes a lot of what I do. But it’s not my identity. God first. Husband second. Parenting third. How important it is to remember our priorities and where exactly we find our identity. If our identity is in parenting, our feathers will be ruffled when other’s oppose us, if our husbands are struggling, we might feel “lost” because our strong rock isn’t so strong anymore. God will never fail us. Though I’m incredibly grateful and un-deserving of my husband who serves me and my family day in and day out, I must not lean solely on him. “ If our husband (or anything else for that matter)  is our rock we may be crushed by him”. Jump over here today for a great article entitled, “A Wife’s Testing Ground.” May we all, walk hand-in-hand  with our one true rock and Redeemer…

 

9 Years

 

We just got done celebrating our 9 year Anniversary. Kevin and I are so thankful for the evidences of grace throughout the twelve years that we’ve known each-other. Looking back, we both agree that our lives have been deeply enriched because of one another and the Lord at the very center. We’ve endured hardships along the way that have been refining. We are thankful for God’s faithfulness and we trust Him deeper still for the years to come.

We went to an incredible local restaurant where we enjoyed some amazing food thanks to a generous gift card “thank you” we received a while back. The food was amazing – presentation and all. And the molten chocolate cake was out of this world! The best part of the night was reflecting on our marriage. We have made it a habit each year on our Anniversary to remember how God has been faithful and to create goals for the next year to come. It’s always so refreshing, encouraging and inspiring to grow deeper in our love for the Lord and for oneanother. We are truly blessed.

 

Here we are, 9 years ago – still in college! June 22, 2002

 

Anniversary date night! June 22, 2011

 

R & R (Rest and Retreat)

 

We had the privilege of getting away, just the 3 of us (nursing baby in tow!) to our home away from home – a little bed and breakfast right outside of Atlanta where we have met dear friends – also the couple who have given their lives to people in full-time ministry to provide a place of respite and rest. They truly spoil us with good food, fellowship and a listening ear. We look forward each year to our visit with them. This time around, we loaded up the car with tons of sermons on marriage and parenting and laughed together, were encouraged and reminded of where we need to change, convicted of our laxness in our parenting and encouraged of the Gospel’s deepening power in our love for one another.

I, especially, was reminded of my precious husband and how proud I am of the work he does. Being a pastor is a thank-less job. He deals so graciously with the mess of people’s lives, carries the burdens of others, walks courageously and with boldness in the advancement of the Church, takes criticisms and bears heavy matters so that others don’t have to. He has opened up his own life to the true grit of  community, is passionate about it and I’ve watched other’s lives be changed because he lives out authentic community in our neighborhood. God is mightily at work in his life, and I am so thankful to get to have the front row seat! I am his biggest fan.

We also spent alot of time reading, enjoying nature, eating good food and just enjoying being with oneanother. We are thankful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On this first day…

On this first day of February, I start anew. I keep pressing on with a pleading prayer that I will never be the same person tomorrow that I was today. Always plodding onward, soaking myself in grace so that it drips off – just enough for pastor husband and my 3 precious little ones to splash in  it as well. Splash in grace…we all need that.

So today I walk forward in love.  I feel sin’s tension and resolve not to let it strangle me. I walk forward into 30 days of loving my husband. O how I love him so – the man plucked out for me and me for him. A friend to walk with, a companion to dance with to life’s beat. The one who knows sin’s stain on me and loves me anyway.

 

Putting Good Books before You

Here are some good books that Tara and I have read and have been very helpful for our marriage and parenting (Tolle Lege):

Marriage

This Momentary Marriage – John Piper

God, Marriage, and Family – Andreas J. Kostenberger

Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God (Husbands) – C.J. Mahaney

A Celebration of Sex – Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau

Parenting

Shepherding a Child’s Heart – Tedd Tripp

Instructing a Child’s Heart – Tedd Tripp

You Have What it Takes (Dads) – John Eldredge

Don’t Make Me Count to Three- Ginger Plowman

Girl Talk (for mom’s raising girls)- Carolyn Mahaney

Family Worship – Don Whitney

General

Treasuring God in our Traditions – Noel Piper

Honey for a Child’s Heart – Gladys Hunt

Shopping For Time(moms)- Carolyn Mahaney

 

7 Years

And just to add one more thing to the month of June in addition to Father’s Day and Kevin’s birthday, on June 22nd Kevin and I celebrated 7 years of marriage. Where in the world has the time gone? 7 years and 3 beautiful girls later, here we are more in love today than we were those years ago. We both agree that we wouldn’t want to start over again. Although those years were sweet, they only get better with time. We continue to ask God for many, many more years together and it is always our prayer that our marriage would reflect our great God as we continue to fight for an exceptional marriage in a world that is far too easily pleased. Can’t wait to see what another year brings.

 

A Tribute To My Man

Kevin and I are quickly rounding the corner of 7 years of marriage.  Sometimes the road has been bumpy but with each passing year it only gets better.  There are statistics out there that say that it takes at least 10 years for a couple to take their eyes off of themselves and look to eachother’s desires.  And there are more statistics that say that around year 7 or 8 of being married is when most people get divorced, if they are going to.  Ironically, most marriages end in divorce before that mark and people re-marry only to start the hard first years all over again. Thus begins the cycle once more.  Statistically speaking or not, Kevin and I love one another and we have made a covenant that won’t be broken.  Today I am reminded, while everyone else runs around drunk with love and obsessed with what gifts they are going to get for themselves, that real love pushes through the statistics and a marriage that is centered on the Lord can be gloriously wonderful and romantic.

I stumbled upon this letter I wrote to my sweetheart two years ago for our 5th anniversary.  I echo all of the same things again to you, Kevin because I love you more today than ever.

To My One and Only Love,

I can hardly believe that 5 years have gone by since our wedding day.  So much has happened in so little time.  5 years ago I made a covenant with you before God that I, Tara, take you, Kevin to be my husband to have and to hold from this day foward, for better or for worse, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live.  These past 5 years have been filled with joy and failure, better and worse and how can I go on even one more day without giving you my forgiveness and admitting my own wrong?  It seems like we’ve gone through a season of learning from mistakes and strengthening our marriage through the healing balm of forgiveness.  So I want you to know – on this day that I choose to show you tenderheartedness and compassion for your mistakes and I thank you for showing me the same.  I look foward with great anticipation to what these next 5 years will bring.  Thank you for choosing me to be your bride, for your humble leadership in our marriage,  for teaching me what it means to forgive and for giving me grace to become a better woman.  When life gets tough,  I hope you know that I’m here to stay.  I’m committed to you and I want nothing less than an exciting,  joyful, romantic marriage.  We only get to do this once and I pray we do it well.

All my love,

Tara

 

Beautiful: Part 4

The world tells us that in order to be beautiful you have to dress to impress, show that skin and expose those breasts, butt and curves girlfriend! Watch out, or you too might find yourself lowering your standard and fitting right in to its’ deceptive mold. Many of our Christian sisters already have and you might be one of them if you are not careful to examine the scriptures.

Paul exhorts women in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 to “adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.” Sounds like a foolproof way to look like you stepped right out of the 18th century right? Wrong. The secret to real and lasting beauty is right here in this text. It’s like gold so hang on to it.  The words translated “adorn” and “modest” in this text mean “orderly, well-arranged, decent” and speak of “harmonious arrangement.” Again, Nancy Leigh DeMoss reminds us that “the outward appearance of the Christian woman is to reflect a heart that is simple, pure, and well-ordered; her clothing and hairstyles should not be distracting or draw attention to herself by being extravagant, extreme, or indecent.  In this way, she reflects the true condition of her heart and her relationship with the Lord, and she makes the Gospel attractive to the world.”

Friend, as we close this session on beauty, you and I both need to examine our hearts once more.  If you think you already have, look again. We hold a huge responsibility to make the Gospel attractive to the world by our appearance coupled with spirits that are gentle and quiet. We are in a battle in the fight for our marriages and we should be the most beautiful woman in our husband’s eyes. Dare to ask him for a truthful opinion and be ready to work hard. If it doesn’t come natural, ask a godly friend to help you pick out some new clothing or jewelry.  Better yet, if God has placed a woman in your life who proclaims to be a Christian and is dressing immodestly, it is your obligation to love her enough to help her to see her sin.  And for all of you single women out there, you aren’t exempt from this either. In fact, your duties press a little deeper because you are a representation of Christ to your Christian brothers. You can either make it or break it and, quite honestly, we want you to be a safe place for our husband’s eyes to be.

This might mean some life-altering stuff here. If you are trying to squeeze yourself into those jeans that don’t really fit just to say you are a “certain size”, you may need to go a size up because they are probably too tight and too revealing.  If you need to throw away those tops that are too low or those skirts that are too short, do it fast so that you don’t try and get away with wearing them “just one more time.”  We really need to take extreme measures here because the world is watching.  The most beautiful women I know are well over 50 and they are NOT wearing tight jeans and a tight shirt with their cleavage hanging out. They radiate Christ because of the fact that they dress stylishly modest. Their faces are glowing and there is just something about them…Get to know these women, hang out with them and let their influence teach you more about reflecting Jesus. Now that is beautiful.

Ladies, the battle is not against flesh and blood but against the principalities of this dark world. Go out and fight. You’ll be glad you did.